Grandmothers' Points of View

WOW--Writing On the Word: Christmas Stress, Tension...Peace, Relief by Maril...

2011-12-18T05:53:00.000-08:00

WOW--Writing On the Word: Christmas Stress, Tension...Peace, Relief by Maril...: As Diana set her coffee mug on the table, she sighed, “I just can’t do it.” “Do what?” I answered. “I just can’t get everything done. I’...

2011-11-20T04:32:00.000-08:00

Looking for direction? Check out Marilyn's post on WOW

http://wow-xroads.blogspot.com/2011/11/im-directionally-challenged-by-marilyn.html#links

Changing Seasons

2011-11-10T08:45:00.001-08:00

Boomers are clearly in a new life season. So are those whom we love and those who love us--mothers, daughters, and in-laws. My devotional Changing Seasons was posted on Christian Devotions today. You can copy and paste into your browse if clicking doesn't take you to the site. Hope that it will encourage you.

http://christiandevotions.us/2011/11/10/changing-seasons-marilyn-nutter/

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Random Thoughts

2011-10-21T17:19:00.000-07:00

Redeem the time; embrace today; savor family and friendship. Dismiss what doesn’t matter. Hold on to what does--it’s what money can’t buy and man can’t make. Love.

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Sweet Aromas

2011-10-06T05:43:00.000-07:00

We all want our homes to have lasting fragrances. I thought I'd share my blog post on WOW with you. You can copy the link and paste in your browser to access it.

http://wow-xroads.blogspot.com/2011/10/sweet-aromas-by-marilyn-nutter.html

Marilyn

After All, What Does Mom or Grandma Know?

2011-09-19T15:37:00.000-07:00

Just when we think we're getting caught up with a child or grandchild's creative imagination, this happens. SIDENOTE: My granddaughter, Olivia, is always making something out of nothing. With scraps of material she hand stitches clothes for stuffed animals, dolls, or anything else with legs. My daughter and I laughed about being put in our place by Olivia my 10 year old granddaughter. She shared this recently about a brief conversation she had with Olivia.

Crucial piece: "Bobo" is a small purple monkey from McDonalds that Olivia has already sewn multiple ensembles.
The chat that followed::
Olivia: "Mom what should I make?"
Her mom/my daughter: "Olivia, why don't you make a safari outfit for Bobo so he can go visit his family in Africa."
Olivia: "Mom, Bobo doesn't need a safari outfit! He is Chinese! Even if he was going to Africa he wouldn't need clothes because he is just a monkey!

When all is said and done, what does a mom know?

I was put in my place this summer, too, when I was explaining to Olivia about an upcoming trip we were taking the kids to on the Umpqua River.

I (Grandma) said: "Olivia, depending on where we are fishing on the river, you (and her brother and sister) may not be able to swim in the water." Seemed simple enough.

Olivia calmly, yet wiwth confidence said, "Grandma, that's like telling a horse not to run!"

Once gain, when all is said and done, what does a Grandma know. Very little. Neither mothers, nor grandma's can keep up? Who cares?

The humor of a child's "wisdom" is gift enough.

Add your children/grandchildren's one-liners... or more!

I love being a Grandma, and seeing life through their eyes...and imaginations!

Judy Dippel

www.judydippel.com
www.jldwrites.com

Building Blocks

2011-09-05T06:03:00.000-07:00

As you can see from our last post in July, Judy and I have taken a break from blogging. Each of us has taken some trips to faraway places—Spain and Alaska! And…we’ve also spent time with family.

I had some unusually large doses of visits with my family here and at their homes on both sides of the US. The grandchildren are growing all too fast! It was fun to see the changes in their communication, play, interests and interaction. Where we used to build with blocks, I now watch one of them ride a two wheeler bike without training wheels. Anxious moments of getting into a swimming pool have moved to jumping off the side of a pool or diving off a diving board. We no longer need a booster chair at the kitchen table.

Their faith is growing too. They are all memorizing scripture and love going to church. They pray at meals and at bedtime. It is sweet!

One of the greatest privileges and roles we have as a mother and grandmother is to pray for our children and grandchildren. No matter where they live, work or go to school, it seems as if there is a battle of some sort to fight and so, something to pray about. Last month, I spent some time looking at scripture to pray for my grandchildren as they began school. I came up with thirty one verses that I felt represented some principles that I hoped they would learn to incorporate into their lives. Why thirty-one? One to pray each day for the entire school year. Rather than place the list on our blog, head over to www.marilynnutter.com and check out the scripture. I added a brief summary of the verse too. August’s post (under Devotions and Recipes) gives you the background. Feel free to print off the list and use it to build faith as you pray for those you love.

Building faith with you,
Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Climbing

2011-07-15T04:42:00.000-07:00

One of the fun things about being a grandmother is seeing the milestones our grandchildren reach. We smile when we hear that they have rolled over for the first time or see them sit up alone. They advance to potty training, the first day of school and losing teeth. Milestones continue throughout life. They are not always easy to achieve' some take great perseverance. Today I thought I'd share a post from another blog that I contribute to: WOW Writing on the Word.

http://wow-xroads.blogspot.com/2011/07/keep-climbing-by-marilyn-nutter.html

I hope that Keep Climbing will encourage you in whatever climb you are experiencing today.

Have a great day and enjoy a new view!

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Independence

2011-07-04T07:32:00.000-07:00

We recently had all four of our grandchildren visiting. You know from previous posts that they live on opposite sides of the US, so it was a delight to have them under one roof again for a second summer in a row. It was fun to see how they have changed as they interacted with each other or had some solo moments with me. Today on Independence Day, I thought about my grandchildren’s independence. They have become more confident swimmers, go to the bathroom without assistance :), dress themselves, and make food choices, just to name a few of my observations. Those examples of independence have been a good thing, showing their growth and maturity.

On the other hand, independence can be detrimental—as in wanting our own way when it infringes on others, when we act before thinking or when a choice isn’t good or safe for us. I sometimes heard their parents say, “Make a better choice next time.” Hmmm…. That too is a process that involves growth and maturity.

Proverbs 19:20 says, “Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.” Praying that they will desire and learn to make wise and good choices is on my list for them. I enjoy seeing their growth and independence in activities, but ultimately I want them to grow to be dependent on the advice and instruction from God’s Word every day.

Happy 4th!

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Learning Gardens

2011-06-07T06:02:00.000-07:00

For most of my life, a “new year” meant an academic year rather than a calendar year. I (obviously) went to school, I taught in schools, I watched my children go to school, two of my daughters work in schools, and now grandchildren are going to school. Yes, my life has revolved around a school calendar.

Last August, I posted that my husband and I helped our daughter set up her classroom. Her school was a start-up school and she entered a modular classroom that was a shell with a little furniture and few supplies. With lots of time, work and with some of her personal funds, the room evolved into a garden of learning. Her first graders have been a delight and have grown in that garden just as she had planned, hoped and prayed for each one.

Now it is time to take down bulletin boards and pack up supplies. The books that are packed away are reminders of growth in reading, math, science and social studies. The charts show changes: lost teeth (they’re six!), new words, character qualities and fulfilling classroom jobs.

The end of the year is time for personal reflection too. I know that Kate has reflected on her personal growth as a teacher. (She’s fabulous!) But as you think about August to June, flip your calendar and read through your journal, how did your garden grow? What have you learned? Have you mentored anyone or been mentored? Have you cultivated a friendship? How would you describe your learning garden?

Summer is a perfect time to grow! Making plans? Let us know.

Learning and growing,

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Memorial Day

2011-05-31T07:01:00.000-07:00

The weekend is behind us. Here in NC. our lakes were populated with boats. Many had cook-outs. Some spent time at the pool or worked in their yards. As I walked around my neighborhood, I smiled when I saw flags flying. I am glad that I am an American! On Sunday, hopefully, churches recognized those who served or are serving in the military. Memorial Day is a day set aside to remember, though many of us forget.

Remembering is a Biblical concept. The Israelites set stones of remembrance at Gilgal to remind them of God’s faithfulness. The Psalms remind us to tell our children what God has done for us and to pass it on to their children and grandchildren. Life stories and experiences are recorded in scripture for a purpose. Not all stories have happy endings, but in all of them we learn and we grow. God wastes nothing.Every experience we have not only helps us, but can be of value to others.

Have you repeated any stories to your children and grandchildren lately? How are you remembering?

Planning to share and remember,
Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

A Dad's Influence Helps Us Age Well. Happy Father's Day, Dad!

2011-05-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

Magical sixties! Who would have thought that being sixty-something would bring a sense of self being more fully restored...and greater fullfillment of peace of heart and mind? It feels almost simple, at least today!
To me, reaching my sixties has a realization of greater self-acceptance, appeciation for lessons learned, excitement about lists of things I want to do, and ability to magnify the blessings while diminishing the disappointments and tough times.
These are particularly fresh emotions for me this week, due to sorting through some racing things of my Dad's for a "Pedal to the Metal" display in Portland, OR. I want to state it publicly with Father's Day approaching. http://www.ohs.org. I was 23 when my dad was killed in practice at Indianapolis 500. I saw it on TV before I could be contacted. Today I want to focus on the blessing of having a dad who loved me unconditionally. He was loving, respectful, and gave time to me. I realize the blessing of having a dad who always made me feel special and loved. I don't take it for granted, because I know it is at the core of the feelings I have about myself in my sixties. Thank you, Dad. I love and miss you!

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-05T06:03:00.000-07:00

Mother’s Day will be celebrated this Sunday. The holiday was created by Anna Jarvis in 1908 as a day to honor mothers. Eventually President Woodrow Wilson declared it a national holiday. Once a holiday, it took off and become so commercialized, that Anna Jarvis called it a “Hallmark Holiday” and regretted what she had established. She actually devoted much of her life to opposing the commercialization of what it had become. According to my research, she was arrested in 1948 for disturbing the peace while protesting against the commercialization of Mother's Day! She said that she "wished she would have never started the day because it became so out of control!" One hundred years later, Mother’s Day remains one of the biggest days for gifts, flowers, cards, dinners out and long distance phone calls.

Some of us still have our mothers with us and some of us boomers do not. Judy is blessed to have hers, but I am not. Yet, I don’t need a holiday to remember my mother. Her presence is with me every day—from thoughts about a recipe to her gentle spirit, hard work and praying for me. Mom, “I thank my God every time I remember you…” Philippians 1:6

What about you? Any reflections on your mother? What has she poured into your life?

Happy Mother’s Day,
Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Awaiting Easter

2011-04-17T15:58:00.000-07:00

My friend Fran composed the following poem and I thought it would give us pause for reflection during this Holy Week. Blessings to you as you reflect on and bask in the amazing love that Christ has for us. Marilyn

As we await Easter,

let us prepare our hearts

to welcome our Savior.

Let us thank Christ

for His gift of redemption.

Let us share with others

what He has done for us.

Let us contemplate with awe

the true meaning

of Christ’s death

and resurrection.

© Frances Gregory Pasch

Re-thinking

2011-04-02T04:44:00.000-07:00

Judy and I had “coffee” a few days ago. We caught up on life and divided our writing assignments. Our long distance writer/friend relationship is a delight and a gift. If an organization called me for an endorsement, I’d definitely say that Judy speaks with wisdom and frankness. One such moment came when I commented about a conversation I was anticipating and she asked me, “So… (I knew something was coming based on her tone) what do you want to accomplish by doing that? What’s your point?” I laughed, stepped back and acknowledged, yes, she was right. My point wasn’t going to get me anywhere and what I would accomplish would take me three steps back. It was time to “rethink.”

Fortunately, I did exactly that—rethought, rather than have my words escape with no hope of retrieval. Sure, if my mouth ran ahead of my mind and heart, I could recycle my words to make them sound better, but in the end the words would retain their original intent. I could “re-use” and repeat the same words in my defense, but the pain would remain. Rethinking, seems to be the best choice. James 1:19 reminds us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” I’m glad that I listened. I’m glad that I have Judy!

What about you? Our age as boomer women gives us relationships that are across the board in age—from grandchildren to aging parents. Words can damage and tax the best of relationships Have you had any recycled or reused words? Or maybe you had accepted the gift of rethinking? What happened? Tell us your story and what you’ve learned so that we can learn along with you.

Rethinking,
Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

You would definitely enjoy a peaceful blog where Ann Voskamp’s music and words take you to the heart of God. http://www.aholyexperience.com/2011/03/how-christians-create-art-she-speaks-scholarship/ Ann is offering a scholarship to attend the Proverbs 31 Woman She Speaks conference, where women with a heart for ministry will gather in July. Click on http://shespeaksconference.com/ for information.

~Good reading with your morning coffee or cup of tea~

2011-03-23T05:34:00.000-07:00

Cindy Sproles and Eddie Jones have recently published a new devotional book. They are the founders of www.christiandevotions.us. I have written several devotionals for their online site, which covers a number of categories from “Home” to “Finances”. You can receive a devotional in your inbox daily by subscribing.

But…their new release offers a perspective for men and women of all ages—from boomer women to those who love them. Just thought that I would pass this along.

EnJOY your day,
Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

He Said, She Said: A Devotional Guide to Cultivating a Life of Passion
By Eddie Jones and Cindy Sproles

Do you sense something vital missing from you relationship with your spouse, children and God? Try He Said, She Said: A Devotional Guide to Cultivating a Life of Passion. This compilation of 54 devotions includes scripture verses, space for journaling, individual prayers and words of wisdom from two of today's funniest and insightful Christian authors. This heart-warming collection of stories will inspire you to reach for the true source of joy: a life lived for and through God. These deeply personal devotions offer biblical insights and spiritual truths from the perspective of one man and one woman. These devotions touch the heart, tickle the funny bone and bring you to your knees in worship.

The concept of He Said, She Said devotions introduces the readers to looking at one scripture, from two perspectives—his and hers. The beauty in this unique type of devotion come when a man reads the perspective of a woman suddenly grasping a new outlook on the scripture; likewise the same for a woman to read the thoughts and views from a man’s perspective. The reader can then mesh the two together for a deeper and more intimate learning experience.

Eddie Jones and Cindy Sproles have captured the essence of scripture through the heart of a man and a woman, addressing the passions of loving your spouse, your children and ultimately loving the Father deeper than ever before.

He Said, She Said: A Devotional Guide to Cultivating a Life of Passion is available on Amazon Kindle now!

http://www.amazon.com/Said-She-Devotional-Cultivating-ebook/product-reviews/B004EEOGZS/ref=dp_db_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

Lessons from Tea

2011-03-04T10:26:00.000-08:00

We had a group of friends in for dinner last Sunday evening. We always have non-stop conversation which is something I totally enjoy, because we have only known these couples since we moved here two years ago. I am amazed at how God put us all together.

Since three of the people were drinking iced tea, we began to talk about varieties of tea and some of the tea my husband brought back with him from China. One of those teas was a flower tea, sometimes called a performance tea, a blooming tea or a show tea. It is a small bundle of dried tea leaves and flowers bound together with a cotton thread. So, we demonstrated it for our friends. Like kids in a candy store, they watched and waited to see what would happen next. When steeped in hot water, the bundle expanded and unfurled and a blooming flower emerged. It is a site to behold and just beautiful!

I often think of hidden potential when I see that flower emerge. No one knew the flower was hidden, but the process was just what was needed for the flower to blossom. In particular, I think about my grandchildren. Each of them has a different personality and I can see how, even at a young age, they have different interests. It will be exciting to see the flowers that emerge as they grow up.

Any thoughts as to how, we as grandmothers can be a part of that process?

Still emerging with you,
Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-14T08:34:00.000-08:00

Last night my husband and I attended a "Jazzing up your Marriage" dinner/dance hosted by our church. Our pastor and his wife spoke, a delicious meal and music and great fellowship provided for a wonderful evening. The evening closed with an opportunity to renew our marriage vows. What a beautiful sound it was to hear 80 men and then 80 women repeat vows. One couple first said their vows 6 months ago and they won the prize for the couple married the least amount of time. On the other end of the spectrum, a couple won the prize for 45 years of marriage. Randy and I have been married 41 years. We spoke our vows in 1969, then at a ceremony on Feb. 17, 1980, we spoke them again with a group of couples from our church. So, last night was our third time to each other.

Earlier we talked about the special ingredient to our marriage. We each came up with the same answer: commitment. Lists of qualities, though certainly what attracted us to each other, are conditional--they may be present one day and gone the next. (I don't even like myself every day!) Lasting relationship boil down to commitment in good seasons and not so good ones, in prosperity and financial struggle, in sickness and in health,...yes til death do us part.

Read 1 Corinthians 13 today. It's often called the "Love Chapter". It applies to marriages but to all relationships.

Happy Valentine’s Day,

Marilyn

ww.marilynnutter.com

Same lyrics…new meaning

2011-01-31T04:03:00.000-08:00

Judy and I had coffee together last week. Well….we each enjoyed separate blends while sitting at our desks, she in Oregon and I in NC. We played catch-up about our families, the holidays, what we’re working on writing-wise and generally, life.

For Judy, this was the first time she hadn’t spent Christmas in her own home. You know from a previous post that I spent my holidays on two sides of the US. I was thankful that we were able to fly across the country and be with family, but oh so different from holidays with my extended family who all lived in the same city. We, as Boomers, are living a new season unlike our parents. Based on crowded airports and parents lugging car seats and pulling toddlers along to catch flights, I knew that I wasn’t alone. It’s all about change. During our hour and a half conversation (and that was short for us), we reviewed some of our writing and came across expressions that made us reminisce and laugh. It was hilarious to see how the meaning of lyrics evolved for us. Jog your memory and play along with us.

“Twist and shout” used to refer to a dance…then as we established our families, we applied the expression to balancing home, work and carpool shouting, “Hurry or we’ll be late!” How do you twist and shout now?

You’ve come a long way baby” used to refer to strides for women…from women’s suffrage to equality in the workplace. In what ways have you come a long way, baby? ? /strong>

“I’m leaving’ on a jet plane,” referred to an old Peter Paul and Mary song with its free spirit …perhaps it later referred to business or family travel…. What does leaving’ on a jet plane mean to you now?

This is just a start. Tell us what you remember—what the lyrics meant then, and what they mean now. And…if any other lyrics come to mind that were “back in the day”, please share.

We’re having coffee next week—again in different time zones. Yes, the times, they are achangin’.

Hugs,

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

2011-01-03T09:06:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!
I was away from home for 18 days (yes you read that right--18) visiting my children and grandchildren on opposite sides of the US. We all had a great time and counted ourselves blessed to be able to travel and be so welcomed in our children’s homes. But….in all honesty, it was good to be back and be in our own beds. As I looked back at our holiday and forward into the new year, I wanted to share a few ideas…really only a few because I still have laundry to do…. with you that you as Boomer grandmothers may find useful. I am hoping that you will add to the list.

Purchase or make a personalized ornament documenting the date your grandchild became a Christian. I have had the joy of purchasing two of those!

Help your grandchild make a card or ornament with his handprint, photo and date for his parents. That makes a memory for three generations!

With the start of a new year, begin a journal exclusively for a grandchild and share memories, prayers and verses for them. Present it when they are 18.

Choose Bible verses to pray for your adult children and grandchildren for the year.

We’d welcome your ideas that are “adult and grandchildren friendly” that you implemented during the recent holiday season and those as you look toward the new year. Please comment and post!

Blessings,

Marilyn www.marilynnutter.com

An Uncluttererd Christmas

2010-12-03T08:35:00.000-08:00

Hello!

Instead of rewriting, let me direct you to my site at www.marilynnutter.com and read the December thoughts about An Uncluttered Christmas. I hope that as you think about the changes you may experience this Christmas --whether it is children and grandchildren who can't come "home", or a change in financial status that alters your gift-giving, my December devotional, that comes from a not so Christmasy passage, will help you adapt your thinking and give you joy!

Blessings as you celebrate the season of the One who loves us with an everlasting love!

With joy,
Marilyn

Shake the Love Around

2010-10-27T10:47:00.000-07:00

Our daughter Susan and two grandchildren recently spent a long weekend at our home. Since they live nine hours away, it was a real treat to have Addy, 2½ and Levi 4 1/2 with us. We had a great time together, bowling with our Wii, visiting Discovery Place, having a fire in our backyard pit (and discovering that the children preferred unroasted marshmallows), playing at our neighborhood playground, ice cream from their auntie, reading stories, eating treats and just enjoying being in the same place with each other. We packed a lot in our 4 days and have 156 photos to prove it!

Susan told me that Levi’s love languages were time and touch. He confirmed it with invitations to bowl with him, holding hands on walks and tons of hugs and kisses. I asked if he would still hold my hand when he was 16 and I was 76. (I might need it then.) “Oh yes, Nonni,” he said. “You are the best Nonni in the whole world.” Can you spell “melt”?

Our custom is to hold hands when we pray at meals. Our granddaughter Addy always finishes by shaking our hands and saying, “Shake the love around.” We laugh and are so thankful for the gifts of family and food. It’s a treasure to hear them pray and enjoy our family times.

What about you? Have you thought about your children’s and grandchildren’s love languages? How do you/they express and receive love? Knowing if love languages are gifts, time, meaningful touch, words and/or acts of service can enrich relationships, avoid miscommunication and even spare hurt feelings.

Think about it. Where do you see them derive the greatest appreciation and joy? What about you? Is it time to shake your love around?

With love,
Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Shells and Classrooms

2010-08-22T20:03:00.000-07:00

My daughter Kate has a new position at a start-up school. When she entered the building last Tuesday, her classroom was a shell. The walls were bare and there was no furniture. So this past week I had the privilege of helping my daughter set up her first grade classroom. Several teachers—even veteran ones-- had their parents and spouses helping. Kate had ideas, a theme, a plan, creativity and lots of enthusiasm. There were moments when an idea didn’t quite work out and despite using a level to hang fabric for bulletin boards, the outcome was crooked and we started all over again. We experimented with furniture placement and tried to find the best structure and flow.We started early and worked until past 8 pm without air conditioning. It was a very hot North Carolina day and when we got home, we could wring out our clothes.

I noticed several things while I was at the school.

All the teachers worked long hours to set up their rooms. They worked hard! I wonder how many really appreciate their dedication or recognize that they work far more than a school calendar. They assume a lot of personal expense which is also a surprise to most people.

The teachers didn’t go it alone. They wanted and accepted help.

As we walked down the hall, we could see that the individual personalities of the teachers emerged in their theme and the way they set up their room. When teachers stopped in each other’s rooms and looked, they shared ideas, gave encouragement, offered helpful suggestions to each other, and asked and answered questions.

All the time and hard work has been worth it! After three days, the room moved from a shell to a beautiful classroom complete with furniture, a theme, and lots of color. It’s just waiting for a group of six year olds!

Not all of us are teachers, but we work hard, and often long hours. We “rearrange” plans and schedules, some to our liking and some with resistance. Life isn’t always “level”. The colors of our day may be bold, pastel and gray. We "sweat" through experiences. We wonder about our theme and where we are headed. We may not feel appreciated or recognized. We may try to do it all alone or we accept help. We give and receive encouragement and even criticism. Many of us have had to start over. Often we sacrifice at great personal expense, If we look back on our life we see that our “shell”—where we started--has gone through transformation and though still a work in progress, a unique “classroom” has emerged.

Tell us! What is something in your life that has contributed to your becoming a unique classroom? What does it look like? How did it change from a shell to beauty?

Still changing,

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Doughnuts and Other Sweets

2010-07-26T08:25:00.000-07:00

As you can see from my updated photo, I recently had the awesome privilege of having all four of my grandchildren with me. For nine days (yes, I counted) all of my children, sons-in-law and grandchildren were under my roof. Considering that they live on opposite sides of the country, it was remarkable. Day and night we had lots of noise, laughter, food and fun. We had an “unbirthday” party to celebrate the grandchildren’s birthdays with cupcakes and Dollar store gifts, took family photos, had a popcorn and movie night while the adult children went out for an evening and had an overnight to the beach. My three year old grandson Quinn painted a picture for me to hang with the other two who did the same at three. Next year, to keep the tradition, Addy will paint hers and I will have four framed on my wall.

When Kate and Heather made a trip to the supermarket, I received a text saying that they were heading to another store to buy iced angel doughnuts to continue our tradition. Chocolate iced doughnuts filled with white cream (not Bavarian) are one of the foods we ate on special occasions when the girls were growing up. Now, we enjoy the special treat when we are together and carry on the tradition with grandchildren, who by the way, think it is fantastic to eat doughnuts for breakfast.

Some experiences were planned, some were spontaneous. We were together and made memories. It was sweet.

We often think of traditions at holiday or birthday time but James Dobson speaks of the value of traditions:

“The great value of traditions comes as they give a family a sense of identity, belongingness. All of us desperately need to feel that we’re not just a cluster of people living together in a house, but we’re a family that’s conscious of its uniqueness, its personality, character and heritage, and that our special relationships of love and companionship make us a unit with identity and personality.”

As a long distance grandmother, I constantly look for ways to connect and develop a sense of belonging to each other while respecting individual families and despite distance. My doughnuts and paintings are two ways I do that. What about you? What are some of the challenges and successes you have found in developing traditions in your new boomer grandmother season? Is distance a challenge? Is proximity also a challenge? Won’t you share some of your sweet traditions with us?

On a very hot North Carolina day,

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Summertime Fun vs. Your Concerns

2010-07-19T08:46:00.000-07:00

Hopefully, you are enjoying summertime fun and the lazy days of summer, at least occasionally. Marilyn and I chuckle and sometimes grimace, (her from the East Coast, and me from the West Coast) as we try to connect between our hectic schedules.

It's good we're busy, but some of the things we are dealing aren't necessarily pleasant. So, my question for boomer women today is, please tell us what concerns you. What topic would you like us to address in this forum?

Right off the top, my concerns are:

How do we manage our own lives when we need to help out because of restricting chronic health issues with our daughters, the mother of our grandchildren?

With our aging parents, how do we know when to "take charge" and when to "let go?" It is a fine line to walk.

Both questions may have a similar response in how to best deal with these challenging realities.

Those are examples, but let us hear what concerns you, and we'll brainstorm solutions on this site.

Here's to sunshine!
Judy

http://www.judydippel.com

42 Years Older—and Proud of it!

2010-06-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

I encourage you to go to your class reunion, but just here did the time go?

We may not look the same, but let's all agree, we're "better than ever!" Inwardly we're stronger, wiser, more confident...with bits of wisdom evident from the gray hairs on our head.

My invitation came in its' bold red and black colors. The Medford 'Black Tornado' Class of 1968 invites you to the 40th Class Reunion.

“This is unbelievable; forty years?” The words came rushing out of my mouth, and inwardly I squirmed at the very thought of that many years slipping by so fast. Frowning, my questions and furrowed brows revealed my stunned reaction to my husband. "Tell me we aren’t this old, because I'm just not feeling it!"
I rolled my eyes and stressed. "I'll have to lose twenty pounds.” Yet the minute the words escaped, thoughts of self-acceptance flitted through my head. Quit whining and choose to lose it, hide it…or lighten up and choose to accept myself the way I am. I relaxed as my mind quickly justified the extra pounds that in midlife seem to persistently and comfortably taken up residency in my midsection—after all, I am a grandma and proud of it!

A Bit of Wisdom: Self-acceptance allows us to enjoy life’s “reunions,” and have gratitude for our less-than-perfect selves.

Summer is here -- enjoy!
Judy

My Orange Plaid Chair

2010-05-24T06:28:00.000-07:00

While my two year old daughter Heather was napping, I took the opportunity to read for a few minutes in my favorite orange, gold and brown plaid chair. (Yes, it was the 70’s, right up there with avocado.) An article piqued my interest.

The writer discussed praying for our children. “Of course,” she said, “We pray for them to develop a heart for God, their friends, the right teacher, safety, etc, but start praying for your child’s future mate the day they are born.” As a fairly new Christian, that prayer request had never crossed my mind, but that day, my prayers began for a little boy, unknown to me, who would eventually become Heather’s husband. I prayed for all facets of his life-- his faith, schooling, friends, decisions, influences, his parents to lead him in the right direction and that he would come into Heather’s life at the right time.

When Paul appeared on the scene 22 years later, I looked at an answer to prayer.

Last weekend, we had the privilege of watching Paul cross the stage to receive his Doctorate of Ministry. What an amazing moment! I immediately thought of Jeremiah 33:3, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” From a few minutes spent in my orange plaid chair, to thirty-three years later, God graciously continues to reveal His great and mighty things.

I continue to pray for my adult children, but now I also have the privilege and responsibility to pray for my four grandchildren.
Yes, all the usual prayers for them too, but also their future mates. Somewhere, there are four children probably between one and five who may eventually enter our family. I only know at this point, that my job is to “call”. When we finally meet them, I have no doubt that I will see how God has molded their lives, but I also know that more is yet to come.

Blessings as you pray,

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

The Grandma Test

2010-05-10T04:47:00.000-07:00

My husband is a super “Papa” so the episode below doesn’t apply, but I received this email (and I'm sorry that I don't have an author's name to give credit), but I couldn’t resist sharing with you. Hope that you smile too.

THE GRANDMA TEST

I was out walking with my four-year-old granddaughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my Granddaughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied. At this point, my granddaughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Grandma, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart."
I had to think quickly. "All Grandmas know this stuff. It's on the Grandma Test. You have to know this stuff or they don't let you be a Grandma."

We walked along in silence for two or three minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "Oh .......I get it!" she beamed. "So if you don't pass the test, you have to be the Grandpa."

"Exactly," I replied, with a big smile on my face.

If you were writing a “Grandma Test”, what is one question you’d ask? And…what’s the answer?

With a smile,
Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Lessons from Facebook

2010-05-03T05:37:00.000-07:00

Facebook has it pluses and minuses. It can be very time consuming but Facebook can be an encouragement too. Since I have moved around a lot and have friends all over the US, FB has served as a way to reunite and connect.

As I read notifications and "wall", friends will often give prayer requests and answers, a quote, Bible verse, share exciting happenings and family updates and be just plain fun. Sometimes people will ask for advice: “Any ideas for a cheap family vacation?”

Well last week, a young mom asked for advice. She wrote: “I re-instituted quiet hour after lunch (when and why did I ever stop doing that?) and now I’m faced with a dilemma: use the time to do some much needed house cleaning or cuddle up with a good book and possibly nap. Oh, the difficult decisions of life?!? :)”

In the comments section, friends answered her question:

I'd clean for 15 minutes and read for 45. :)
We all need that time to get recharged!!

That's easy...take a nap! :)

There will ALWAYS be something in need of cleaning. Read a book, maybe it will have the same effect on you as me, helps you fall asleep, (if you let it :).

Easy…self care: a book, nap, soft music, a cup of tea, any or all of the above.

The final post revealed her choice:
Okay, hold on to your socks! I actually opted for the book and a short rest. It was wonderful and gave me that extra boost I needed to get the cleaning done afterward. YAY!

It was followed by an affirmation from a friend:
Good choice!! :)

I’m glad that Ann opted for self-care and has learned this lesson early. I admit that it took me a long time before I realized that self-care wasn’t self-ish but necessary if I wanted to be all I should and be all I could to the people in my life.

After all, don’t the flight attendants tell us that if we are traveling with children, to put our oxygen mask on first so that we are in good shape to then put one on your child?

Have you learned that lesson? How do you live out self-care? If not, is today the day to start?

TREASURED CELEBRATIONS for Mother-Daughters & Grandmother-Granddaughters

2010-04-26T10:06:00.000-07:00

If you have young women in your family, both mothers and grandmothers will find this interesting info. A book and journal written with teen girls in mind, though in my opinion it is valuable for younger pre-teen girls, too.

For those of us who appreciate inspiring materials to guide us in influencing our daughters and granddaughters to live life knowing they have purpose, value and strength, I highly recommend this book and the accompanying journal:

Raising a Modern-Day Princess (for adult) and the Journal, Becoming a Modern-Day Princess (for young girl), Becoming a Modern-Day Princess. (Chapters focus on personality types; family trees, history and family stories; wealth of wisdom; true friends; hopes and dreams for the future; looking and acting in healthy, positive ways; portrait of a prince/traits of good men;feelings, contentment and forgiveness, "Dancing with the King," and relationship with God).

These are written by an author friend many of you already know. Pam Farrel, and co-written by Doreen Hanna. It was recently published by Focus on the Family/Tyndale House.

Pam and Doreen have allowed me to use these materials for an upcoming Mother-Daughter retreat I'm speaking for at Camp Berachah in Auburn, near Seattle, Washington. May 7-9. http://www.campberachah.org/ (Please check it out and consider coming to the retreat if you live near there. You can register online at the Camp Berachah website I've included).

I feel these materials provide us, as mothers or grandmothers, a unique opportunity to influence our daughters and granddaughters in a unique and very meaningful way--plus it's all prepared for us!

To learn more about Pam or Doreen, please visit their websites:
http://www.farrelcommunications.com/ and Doreen Hanna, the President and Founder of Treasured Celebrations. www.moderndayprincess.net/

I can't wait to share this with the moms and grand-moms who attend this retreat! Feel free to contact me directly with questions about it.

Judy Dippel
http://www.judydippel.com

Math or Not Listening?

2010-04-18T19:23:00.000-07:00

My daughter Kate is a teacher and couldn’t resist sharing a copy of this exercise from a student.

"Wanda had a special talent with art. Write about a special talent that you have and draw a picture showing that talent."

The student's response: "I have a talent in math. If I did not choose math, I would choose not listening."

We both had a good laugh with that answer, but this little seven year-old is on to something. How many times do we choose to not listen?

Did our mothers give us advice and we chose to “not listen”? Was it costly?

We offered our thoughts to our kids, and they chose to “not listen”. How did it matter?

We hear a “still small voice” but choose to “not listen”. Is life different because of our choice?

We were told that some days in motherhood may seem interminable but the years go by in the blink of an eye, and we choose to “not listen”.

The media tells us that we need to look a certain way and we buy into it. We choose not to listen to who God says we are. Can we remind ourselves of scriptures that speak to our value?

What about “not listening”? Did you discover that your special talent wasn’t math and you chose “not listening”? Can you share your lesson with us?

OR…do you have an example of how you listened and the outcome was extraordinary? Encourage us with your story!

Let’s hear from you. I’m listening!

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

TOP 10...IF Your Child..."DON'T WORRY" Advice from a Grand-Mom

2010-04-11T16:26:00.000-07:00

If your child eats glue, don't worry, there has to be one in every class...and they won't do it forever.
If your child won't share, don't worry, there has to be one in every class and they won't do it forever.
If your child screams when you leave them, don't worry, there has to be one in every class and it won't last forever.
If your child bites things, be it animate or inanimate, when they are angry, don't worry, there has to be one in every class and it won't last forever.
If your childs best friend isn't real, or is a stuffed animal, don't worry, there has to be one in every class and it won't last forever.
If your child speaks at a volume louder than "Dora the Explorer," don't worry, there has to be one in every class and it won't last forever.
If your child didn't learn E=MC2 (squared) from watching Baby Einstein, don't worry, there has to be one in every class and it won't last forever.
If your child is asked by the teacher why she is so tired, and answered (hypothetically) that her parents are afraid of Jesus return, so they are forcing her to dig a hole under the house...don't worry, there has to be one in every class and it won't last forever.
If your child's hair is styled with jam, peanut butter, and a little snot, don't worry, there has to be one in every class and it won't last forever.
If your child plucked the "pretty flower" to give to the teacher, from the teacher's very own potted plant on her desk, don't worry, there has to be one in every class and it won't last forever!

The moral of the story is ONE: Don't worry. TWO:Your child/granchild is individual and beautiful, on their very own road, so don't compare , but if you do compare, just laugh and remember...IT WON'T LAST FOREVER!

Judy...a mother and grandmother...and I've survived!
http://www.judydippel.com/

Scars and Casts

2010-04-05T05:53:00.000-07:00

“I’m glad to see you without your cast,” I told a friend in the church foyer yesterday. She told me how good it was to be vertical and not dependent on her scooter to get around. “See my scar,” she pointed, “but that’s nothing compared to the ones on my knees from knee replacement.” I thought that our conversation was fitting given Jesus’ nail scared hands that paid the price for my sin on Good Friday.

As I entered the auditorium, that words of our conversation lingered. Scars. As we began singing, “My Redeemer Lives!” I thought, No more scars for us!

But wait…how many of us still wear scars? Do we continue to wear the scars of hurts, broken relationships, guilt, lack of self-acceptance and a host of other life issues? Perhaps to hide our scars, we keep a cast on that hinders navigating through life with grace, strength and transparency?

The message of Resurrection Sunday is that our scars are gone. There is no need to wear a cast to cover up. (Adam and Eve tried that with fig leaves.) The same power that caused Jesus’ resurrection is available to us for daily living. He wants to remove our cast and take our scars away.

Today's thought on my flip calendar read: "By the power that raised Jesus Christ from that sealed and guarded tomb we may be delievered from whatever seals us off from life. Jesus came to give us life, nothing less than life, abundant life." (Elisabeth Elliott)

Will you live in that life today--free from scars and casts?

Because of the resurrection!
Marilyn

The Christian walk isn't easy!

2010-03-29T07:52:00.000-07:00

With Easter approaching, I have to once again say it out loud. I'm in awe of God's love and grace towards me! It is amazing! The cross says it all. Yet as women, we're just human and to follow Christ requires trust and hope in things for our lives that are yet unseen. The words are easy, but sincerely "walking the walk" is much harder...at every age and stage, right?

As moms (and grand-moms)we sometimes feel we must be super-human and all-wise, but that alone requires dependence on who God is, a willingness to surrender to his guidance, and faith for tangible outcomes on this earth. The Christian walk takes a deliverate daily choice to participate in all that God has for us, which includes patience and persistence, and for me and probably you, a willingness to give up my selfish desires, my pride and willfulness. hmmm...what I know for sure...I will never arrive and have it all together. And I also know that as I continually gravitate towards Christ, and strive to discard the old, replaced by the strength of an all-knowing God, I receive a peace and perspective well beyond what I could ever imagine. In realizing my limitations, I'm in awe of the expanse of God's faithfulness.

I guess the bottom line, faith in the Christ isn't just for me and other people. He died for you, too! Christianity may not be an easy walk, but it is the most rewarding, miraculous and adventurous walk you'll ever take. Nothing dull about it! Don't mean to sound "preachy," but sometimes I can't restrain myself. Enjoy the Easter eggs and rely on HIM as you "walk the walk!"
God Bless YOU!
Judy
http://www.judydippel.com

Ever "In Limbo?"

2010-03-22T11:59:00.000-07:00

I need to write something thought provoking and encouraging today, but I feel in limbo--a result of numerous stresses that have gotten to me. What may be the most encouraging is to tell you..."sometimes life gets to us and temporarily gets the best of us, even when we have strong faith, and even when we've lived through enough life to have great answers and quick fixes!"

I'm not alone and neither are you. But what do we do when we might feel frozen in place, worried, stressed out, depressed, or frozen in place? A few habits that may help you.

First, acknowledge why you are feeling this way. Acceptance is a huge step in the right direction, and remember nothing stays the same. This "in limbo" feeling will pass!

Today, do something you can control and enjoy, and try to let go of what you can't control...and always remember you can't do it all!

Talk to God, pray, seek guidance and comfort in his word.

Talk to a trusted friend, or seek out a therapist if you feel it's needed.

Love yourself enought to practice healthy self-care: regular amounts of sleep, exercise, healthy diet. Get outside, enjoy a change of scene...and KNOW it's okay to say NO to take care of you...boundaries are good!

I'd love to hear from you.
Judy
http://www.judydippel.com/

Seasons of Solace

2010-03-14T19:02:00.000-07:00

Last August I had the privilege of attending the Greater Philadelphia Christian Writers' Conference and I was randomly assigned a roommate. Though we were a generation apart, Janelle Hertzler and I enjoyed each other's company at meals and in classes. She blessed me in an amazing way--one of which was through her testimony and hearing about her book. Seasons of Solace: A Story of Healing through Photos and Poems represents Janelle's journey as she deals with the unthinkable.

While Janelle and her husband served as missionaries in Thailand, her husband was killed by a drunk driver. Coming home to the US with a toddler, Janelle attempted to navigate through her pain and make sense of a senseless act. Writing poetry, reading the Psalms, and taking inspiring photos are some of the tools she used to express grief, honestly convey her thoughts, and work through her healing process. Hertzler's path is captured tearfully and beautifully in print and photography in Seasons of Solace. Her honesty reminds us that pain is real. Her words tell us that there is no magic timetable for grief. Her transparency is courageous. Seasons of Solace is an excellent gift book that presents timeless truths and images for those grieving the loss of a loved one or life disappointments of any magnitude.

To learn more about Janelle and read a few sample poems, or get information about obtaining Seasons of Solace, please visit www.journey-through-grief.com/seasons-of-solace.html

Peace,
Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Life Comes at You Fast

2010-03-08T04:32:00.000-08:00

“It shouldn’t be happening to you this young.” That’s what a 30 something gal told me last week as I shared that my husband and I lost a life-long friend suddenly. “I know,” I answered. “We are shocked by it. When friendship is deep, loss is deeper. We hurt.” With no warning, the words, “He’s gone,” pierced our hearts.

Boomers’ bios show that we change jobs, retire, relocate, make new friends, lose friends and family. We watch our children graduate from college, relocate, start a career, marry, and grandchildren arrive. In a blink of an eye, life happens. Sure, we have lots of fun stuff, but what hit me squarely in the face last week is loss. Like my young friend said, “It shouldn’t be happening to you this young…or this soon.” Right; to our parents, but not to us…yet.

I know that there will be a sweet reunion someday. I know that in comparison to “stuff” on earth, heaven is perfect and glorious and I don’t wish my friend back. I know that separation will be short and eternity forever! Yet the reality is that as boomers age, the news I heard will be replayed. We will have loss.

The TV commercial says, “Life comes at you fast.” Scripture tells us life is a vapor. So true. So we’re in the fast lane. Let’s make every day count for what matters. What are you going to do today that matters?

Blessings in your discoveries,
Marilyn

LEARNING LIFE AGAIN

2010-03-01T15:04:00.000-08:00

There's is nothing like seeing life through our grandchildren's eyes to remind us what we DO know and what we DON'T! (Like Marilyn's previous post...I'd never before thought of toilet paper as a priceless treasure...though in reality it probably is to each and every one of us. But even more valuable with grandma's lipstick kiss on it, according to Marilyn's grandchildren.) Love it, especially when it makes me see t-paper in a fresh and new way!

It is awesome to be "Learning Life Again" with grandchildren. Seeing through a child's lens teaches us something new, reminds us to appreciate the simple things, and opens us up to the world we live in.

For example:

Have you ever felt a "naked mole rat" is the most beautiful animal in the zoo? Probably not, in fact if you are like me, you don't even know what a naked mole rat is. Well, 5 year-old Ella educated me...and now I see the beauty of their claws and brown, naked little mouse-like bodies! :-)

I'd never noticed the fuzzy, hair-like pods that are on the ground...year after year, just before my magnolia tree blooms. They're beautiful, fuzzy, soft...like a little animals ears...just as both Eli and Ella explained to me this morning. And now, we have two freezer bags full on the counter! I will never miss them on the ground next year.

And as Olivia said when she was about three. Grandma, where does God live? I said he is large and lives way up there...probably beyond the sky. She said, "But he comes really close, and gets really small to live in my heart!" I was speechless.

Amen, and let's pay close attention to the wisdom of our grandchildren. In this stage, I'm ready to keep learning new things about life...from them!

What have your grandchildren taught you lately?
Judy

Lipstick Kisses

2010-02-22T06:32:00.000-08:00

Like you, I receive several email “forwards” throughout the week. I discard some and read one or two. When “grandmother humor” appeared in my inbox, I opened it without a second thought. Several episodes and exchanges between grandmothers and grandchildren were recounted, but this one caught my eye:

“She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, ‘But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!’ I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye....”

I don’t kiss the toilet paper after applying lipstick but I do kiss a “Kleenex” tissue when I say goodbye to my grandchildren. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a long-distance grandmother. On the last morning of my visit I leave a lipstick kiss and write the date on the tissue for them. Sometimes due to a flight schedule, I leave before they wake up. The tissue is left on the kitchen table for them. It’s one of my rituals.

What grandmother rituals do you have? We all have special touches and rituals whether we are long distance or live next door. We’d love to hear your point of view and share with us.

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

THE SIMPLE THINGS

2010-02-16T17:46:00.000-08:00

Memories from growing up years remind me to enjoy just "hangin' out" doing the SIMPLE things with my grandkids when they visit. It's also a great chance to teach them things they may not always do in their busy days.

Here's a few SIMPLE and fun things I've enjoyed lately with my grandchildren(9,6 &4)

A TEA PARTY! Instead of breakfast on the island in the kitchen, my grandkids set up their little tea set on the dining room table. I turned on some relaxing music and lit candles. We cut toast, fruit, cheese into small tea-sized portions, and along with the mint tea and honey, guess what? My oldest granddaughter, Olivia, insisted we enjoy polite conversation and our best manners! I loved it, and the relaxing way we started our day! (A great gift for me and a fun way to practice good manners for them)

HAVE FUN WITH BUTTONS (buy a sack of them at any craft store) My granddaughters decorated some big ol' t-shirts of mine with buttons.(to make night shirts for themselves). They sewed them on, but buttons are fun to glue on plastic, wood, old jewelry, etc. A great way to teach some basics about needles and thread. I don't sew but I CAN do that! They have a new nightshirt...and they think of grandma!

RECYCLE CELL PHONES ...give them to your grandchildren to play with when they visit. I was surprised to find out that they still take pictures when they are deactivated...My granddaughters spent hours being amateur photographers, then showed and explained each one in their "gallery."

FLY KITES, MAKE WISHES on DANDELIONS, PAINT WITH WATER on CEMENT, PLAY HOPSKOTCH, PICK FLOWERS (and let them arrange them in a vase), let them make their own ROOTBEER FLOATS, MAKE DESIGNS with a FLASHLIGHT, in a DARK ROOM, SING TOGETHER, BRAID HAIR, WASH the CAR, MAKE MUD PIES (away from the car), FOLD CLOTHES and TELL STORIES (that go with the clothes.)

...most of all enjoy the SIMPLE things! I guarantee that is what we all remember most!

I'm going to turn off the TV right now!
Judy

Boomer Memories

2010-02-01T05:51:00.000-08:00

My Dad had a Studebaker.
I grew up with a party line.
My mother had a wringer washer and hung her clothes on a clothesline to dry. She shook water from a bottle with holes on the lid on to clothes before she ironed them.
We only had three TV channels—major networks. Actually, we were among the last families to even get a TV.
TV programming ended at midnight with the Star Spangled Banner.
The ice cream truck passed through our neighborhood and we could buy popsicles for 10 cents.
I loved the smell of paper that was fresh off the ditto machine.

How many of these do you remember? Can you recall others from our growing up days and post? Let’s rewind and reminisce. We’d all love a smile and maybe a laugh.

Have you ever shared any of these with your children or grandchildren? How did they react? Were they surprised? Did they even remotely understand? How can you turn any of these memories into “teachable moments”? Think about it.

Warmly,
Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Changes…Choices…Challenges

2010-01-18T15:52:00.000-08:00

I thought I’d update my photos with and of my grandchildren. Wow! Have they changed in a year! It was a challenge to find the best one and I was forced to make a choice. Speaking of which, during the past week I’ve heard the following comments in one form or another:

"My husband has no outside interests. I’d like to do things, but I feel guilty when I leave him all the time.We should be out there enjoying ourselves."

“We’ve relocated. My husband doesn’t have the interest I do in making new friends. He’s happy to watch TV, work in the yard and take me to dinner. I need women friends. I’d even like ‘couple friends’.”

“My daughter asked me to watch my grandchildren for a long weekend. I’ve been running in circles with my job and some volunteer commitments that were on the calendar months ago. I had to say “no” and I feel guilty.”

“I don’t know what’s happened. My dear friend and I have drifted apart. I thought we had been through significant life experiences together that would weather the changes of my leaving the place where we both worked, but she seems to have moved on.”

Changes, choices, and challenges. Which have you encountered lately? Any advice or solutions to offer?

We’d love to hear your “point of view”.

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Post Christmas Reflections

2010-01-10T13:46:00.000-08:00

Two days before Christmas, I read a posting from one of my Facebook friends who’s a young mom: “Anyone have any ideas for Christmas traditions? "We’re away from family.” I thought that two days before Christmas was a bit late to begin to think about establishing traditions for the current season, but I posted a few of ours and I noticed that three or four others offered some suggestions too.

On the other end of the spectrum, I received an email from a boomer friend who retired and relocated to a warmer climate. She and her husband also spent Christmas away from family. It read, “Our Christmas was good but it was very different.”

Me? For the first time in forty years, I didn’t celebrate Christmas morning in my own home but was 2,000 miles away. I watched with delight as my daughter prepared our traditional Christmas breakfast and I enjoyed the sparkle in my grandchildren’s eyes as they opened presents. I connected with my two other daughters via webcam. Our matching pajamas tied us together. It was lovely, but different. Later, we flew to the other side of the country and we changed New Year’s into a delayed “live” Christmas with my other daughters and grandchildren.

Yes, the seasons of life bring change. Relationships change, holidays are different.

How were your holidays? Different, lovely, stressful, hectic, lonely, a change from previous years? Now that Christmas is behind us but still fresh in our minds, I’m inviting you to comment and help all of us manage and be proactive for Christmas 2010. Whether you are a boomer woman or grandmother, or the adult daughter or daughter-in-love of one, what suggestions can you offer that we can file away for next Christmas? Do you have an in-town or long distance tradition to recommend, a holiday schedule to suggest, stress relievers to offer, a way to manage being away from family or if relationships are tense, managing being with family, or a way to manage expectations?

My thoughts are twofold: it’s January and we can prepare to think about the traditions we want to establish for next year (if we like your idea and it suits our family structure) and in the cases where Christmas may have been different, we can benefit from your experiences and advice.

The seasons of life bring change. Let’s talk!

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

Happy New Year

2009-12-27T17:02:00.000-08:00

Peace--joy--love---hope--I hope that all of these marked your Christmas celebration. This morning at church, a friend told me that her Christmas was amazing. When I asked why, she said that it was an answer to prayer. Naturally, when you hear that a Christmas was an answer to prayer, one immediately thinks that relationships were "uneventful" at the dinner table, that a relative could come home for Christmas or maybe a person who was very ill, had recovered. Instead, she said, "I was organized" and she laughed. "Okay," I responded, and gave a questioning look that asked for more of an explanation. Apparently, her devotions a few days prior to Christmas had been on personal discipline and she prayed to develop discipline to be organized. As she prepared for Christmas and realized that on Christmas Eve day all that she needed to do was done with time to rest, she realized that it was an answer to prayer. "This was the best Christmas," she said, "it affected everything else."

As we look at the new year, is there a prayer that we need to offer about and for ourselves that can "affect everything else"? For my friend it was personal discipline. Perhaps for you, it may be guidance for a decision, self-monitoring your communication, cultivating peace in your life script, extending grace to others or consciously embracing joy.

Whatever your prayer request,I hope that you will look back at this time next year and say, "It was the best year...amazing!"

Happy New Year. Marilyn

Merry Christmas

2009-12-20T22:03:00.000-08:00
Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas! My tree is not yet decorated and it is okay. I'm determined to enjoy each day this coming week, without trying to make everything perfect! Let's give ourselves a break...love and laugh and see what the Lord reveals as we relax and rest in him. PEACE - JOY - LOVE

May God bring unexpected blessings to you this week. I'd love to hear about any and all you care to share. For me today, seeing my two grown children sincerely happy to see each other...hugging and cooking together as they arrived "home" for Christmas. Gift enough for me!

Merry Christmas!
Judy

Do you have any idea?

2009-12-13T20:19:00.000-08:00
The winner of our drawing for posting a comment about extraordinary treasures is Martha! Martha, please send me your address so I can send you a book!

At a recent community Christmas concert, a quartet sang Mary Did You Know?* by Mark Lowry. The lyrics ask if Mary had any idea of what her Son Jesus would do when He grew to be a man. Did she know that he would heal the sick, give speech to the mute, give sight to the blind, calm a storm and ultimately deliver His people from their sins? At one point in the song, a most profound question is asked: Did Mary know that she was kissing the face of God? Do you have goose bumps as you ponder the significance of those words? I do.

As grandmothers, do we wonder about the hidden potential of our grandchildren? As we held our babies and stared at the wonderment of part of ourselves, can we even imagine who they might become? I don’t know who my grandchildren will become and what paths they will take, but I am challenged to pursue intentional prayer for them as they grow.

I pray that they will recognize the amazing creations that they are. As scripture says, they have been hand knit by God (Psalm 139).

I pray that they will come to a personal relationship with Jesus.

I am praying for myself-- that I will study my grandchildren so that I know how to pray to encourage them in their gifts and talents, to respond to their personalities, to be alert and aware to their thoughts and actions, and to provide as I can when needed, the right words to them.

I am praying Luke 2:52 for them—that they will grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man.

I am praying for their parents to raise them with Biblical wisdom.

Jer. 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

We have no idea what God has in mind for them, but God has ideas and plans! Let’s cooperate with Him by praying that our grandchildren hear His voice and love Him with all their heart and mind. Won’t it an extraordinary treasure to look back and see how our prayers were part of their lives?

Praying with you,

Marilyn
www.marilynnutter.com

*This site has the lyrics to the song. http://www.wrensworld.com/marydiduknow.htm

RELATIONSHIPS

2009-12-06T19:38:00.000-08:00
Don't forget to comment about your extraordinary treasure (last week's blog --see below) after reading Judy's challenge to focus. Our prize drawing runs until Friday. Marilyn

Why do we need to simplify, prioritize, and literally come up for air and take a breath during the holidays? For me, one reason. Relationships! Those with our family, friends and God...and even my relationship with myself!

I was trying to think how I could do what I believe in so strongly, and profess to you, in the wake of all of life's stresses that seem especially rampant in my life right now. I wanted to make a simple list to help myself, and in doing so, I hope it is helpful for you. It seems we all need a restful retreat this holiday. That is present enough for me, how about you?

I wrote two weeks ago about "simplifying" and Marilyn wrote last week about looking for delightful and "extraordinary treasures." In our house, the annual jigsaw puzzle that sits on the card table during Thanksgiving and Christmas is a treaure for me...and since I'm all about relationships, it's a reason for us to sit together, talk, avoid TV, laugh and tell stores, with the common goal of the puzzle. No doubt striving to simplify the holidays as we look for, and expect, extraordinary treasures will be a gift we can give ourselves, so let's do exactly that.

Just how can we have gift-filled days between now and Christmas? Using "RELATIONSHIP" as an acronym, I'm challenging myself to consider the following and perhaps apply them...to be able to more fully enjoy this Christmas season! Let me hear from you in "how and where" these help you...

R - REALITY (accept it; not fight it)
E - ENVIRONMENT (enjoy the warmth of home, as well as the brisk walks outdoors)
L - LOVE (express love whenever possible each day)
A - APPRECIATE (appreciate and focus on what we do have, not what we don't)
T - TEACH (take opportunities to show how to live out our God-given priorities, rather than keeping up with the fleeting pressures of the world)
I - INDIVIDUALISM (enjoy being uniquely you...and I will too!)
O - OBSERVE (make time to observe the treasured traditions that make holidays special and families close)
N - NO (learn to say "no")
S - SILENCE (find some quiet and silence. Be filled up and be with the Lord)
H - HEART (listen to your "heart," and trust God-given instincts about what is important)
I - INITIATE (establish laughter and humor, rather than taking ourselves to seriously)
P - PRAISE (let's look for treasures within each day, and "pray" to not miss them. Then let's PRAISE!)

Too many goals to focus on each day, then just pick your top three!! Have a great week...
My best! Judy
http//www.judydippel.com/

Extraordinary Treasures ~ Prize Drawing

2009-11-29T20:47:00.000-08:00
If there is one thing that has characterized the Boomer generation, it is change. We’ve seen men go to the moon, I-pods replace “records”, family double-features give way to “R” rated movies and e-mail take preference over hand written notes. We’ve also seen on-line shopping and malls replace downtown department stores and city shopping.

When I was a little girl, my mother took me “downtown” at Christmas time. We dressed up, took the bus (she let me put my token in) and walked the downtown of Rochester, NY. We looked at the spectacular Christmas window displays in the big department stores and marveled at the decorations and the lights. Some store windows had themes—like bears or Dickens, but there was always a manger scene in one of their displays. Then Mom and I went into the stores and at one of them, she gave me a quarter. I put my 25 cents into a slot and out came a surprise package—a special gift for children. I can see the events in my mind as if they were right before me. Isn’t it amazing that a holiday tradition, very meager by today’s commercial and elaborate standards, would elicit such a treasured and vivid memory? It’s what I like to call an extraordinary treasure, holding my mother’s hand and enjoying a traditional special time together.

It is sooo easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season and lose sight of what is valuable and real. We are bombarded by must-haves, often surrounded by stress and sometimes disappointments. For the next two weeks, I’d love to focus on extraordinary treasures. What treasure can you discover in the middle of an ordinary or even challenging day? Is it the opportunity to offer a kind word to a less than happy store clerk, your grandchild’s smile as he helps frost cookies, absorbing the meanings of the words of Christmas carols, a family tradition? Look for them, then please comment and share with us within the next two weeks, so that we can all enjoy your extraordinary treasure.

On Friday, December 11, the names of those who comment will be placed in a hat and the winner will receive a complimentary copy of Marilyn’s devotional, Diva Delights: Finding Extraordinary Treasures in Ordinary Days.

Looking for a treasure,
Marilyn

Let’s SIMPLIFY—and BE THANKFUL we get to choose!

2009-11-23T08:21:00.000-08:00
Thanks for visiting. Sharing with you is my therapy this week. For several weeks I’ve had a big-time reminder how precious life is, and how valuable it is that I get to choose how I spend my days—once again a reminder that it’s all about our relationships and the simple things that matter most—physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I encourage you to join me, and get real in all areas of life, about what you long to do this week versus what may be pride speaking (perfectly clean house, stunning centerpiece, leaves raked, homemade pies, artistic platters, new “fall” outfit, no shower scum…the list goes on… ) as you prepare for Thanksgiving.
I admit I sometimes must be forced to choose to SIMPLIFY and get real! I am having Thanksgiving at my house, just five of us, and many would say, just “go out,” yet I long to smell the turkey cooking and sit around the card table with a jig-saw puzzle, visiting, relaxing.
WHY am I smiling as I write this? Because for weeks I’ve been on a treadmill of making HUGE life decisions for our elderly “grandpa” with heart failure and dementia, whose tears flowed down his cheeks with the news that others must now make decisions for him. He is struggling to hold on to his independence which is such an admirable trait, yet it is impossible for him with both physical and mental capabilities diminishing.
Adopted into our family, no blood relation to me, yet I am deciding where he will live, what he will take with him, what he likes to eat, what he will wear, how often he needs care, what type of care…even assessing his personality for caretakers to have a heads up in understanding him. We’re packing up his stuff up today, completing hours of paperwork and life details and then driving him a couple hours to his “new home” Tuesday. It’s a wonderful place, truly, so I have tremendous peace about these hard decisions.
So what really matters? Well, for me, this week, and on Thanksgiving day—a shower, wearing jeans that aren’t too tight, laughing and crying with my family members and friends, sharing some good food together, finding something fun to entertain us, arguing over which team will win, taking a walk in the fresh air, and a good night’s sleep! With those needs and longings, I suspect I could even be quite content at Spring Ridge, Grandpa Bob’s new home! I’ll have to tell him exactly that. 
Think about it…maybe you can SIMPLIFY your Thanksgiving choices!
SIMPLIFY and have a wonderful, blessed Thanksgiving! Remember Jesus words in Matthew 11:30 “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
I’m simply thankful today!
Judy

Stretch Marks

2009-11-15T19:12:00.000-08:00
Judy and I think we should begin a journal of our adventures. We’ve both been stretched in a number of ways and when we exchange our schedules and happenings, we say, “No one could have written this script!” As Judy said last week in her “weed” post (we will clarify here---the type that are found in gardens in beautiful flower beds, etc) she spent the past two weeks attending a funeral, keeping an out of town commitment, making arrangements for long term care for an elderly man who is part of their family, and fitting in normal (what is that?) life activities. Her year has been filled with unexpected and often difficult experiences.

My husband and I just returned from a 1500+ mile trip (in 5 days) to see family and friends for some very special celebrations—a wedding and a milestone birthday—the events you don’t want to pass up. I admit, it was nothing short of wonderful to see people, but my husband and I came back stretched with fatigue (and a cold). After our arrival home, we had a “10 month after move-in house inspection” so I had several men making minor repairs on our new house. My carpet will be replaced in the next two weeks. Stretching the carpet to deal with a visible seam didn’t solve the problem. Fortunately, they will move the bookcases!

A few days ago, I met a couple who will be our new neighbors. They are planning on building here to be closer to their adult children and grandchildren but are stretched by having a house to sell that hasn’t seen any activity.

Another friend is trying to stretch her time as she attempts to manage a schedule with a new part time job and another has had the stretching experiences of a grandchild on the verge of making some unwise choices.

As we begin to make holiday plans with family in and out of town, we may be stretched by finding mutually convenient dates.

Finances may stretch us too as we contemplate retirement.

In this season as Boomer women, we are developing new stretch marks!

What stretching experiences have you had lately? Have they been good or not so good?
How have you met them? What are you learning? How can you see them as marks of beauty? Any advice for us?

Marilyn

PERSEVERANCE of a WEED!

2009-11-08T21:41:00.000-08:00
I drove three hours home tonight with my car jam-packed with cases of books that didn’t sell at the holiday booth this weekend,but that’s not all! My mom is coming home with me so that I can drive her two hours to an appointment Wednesday…and I have one whining dog and one persnickety cat…my Explorer looking like the Grapes of Wrath...and me feeling like I’d spent some time in the “dust bowl!”

I’ll admit it—I’m tired! This week, and in fact this year has not been exactly as I imagined it would be, especially at this stage and age. Where is the extra money? Why do my grandkids have to live so far away? Why do I feel that I’m missing the opportunities to relax and smell the roses? I suspect ythat many of you may be asking yourself the same questions? Seriously, I am “just fine,” but too-often teetering on the emotional edge. 

Like most, economic stresses and uncertainty prevail—and probably like most, I’ve also had some “crazy what’s up, and what more can happen?” Yet, some wonderful unexpected “ah-ha” moments have happened this year, too. I pray to God each day that I don’t, nor do you, let the day’s blessings slip by unnoticed, but let’s all pray to have the perseverance to keep up with all “the stuff” that’s thrown our way.

Since August I’ve had the unexpected death of my only brother, lost a beloved older friend, and a co-worker, my age…and this week moved a family member into a nursing facility while trying to figure out “the best” option for his new dependent stage of care, while trying to stay patient with kids, husband, mother and even a friend.

What is the solution? Prayerful perseverance—and remembering God is good…all the time! I love this quote...perhaps it will help you like it helps me, to take one day at a time, one challenge at a time. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.” (Walter Elliott)

Truly, do have a wonderfully blessed week—and I intend to, too. I’ll leave with another quote to do exactly that—Lord, give me the determination and tenacity of a weed! (Mrs. Leon R Walters) Let’s keep “going and growing."
My best, Judy

Life Long Learning

2009-11-02T03:03:00.000-08:00
I love watching my grandchildren learn. Just last week during a webcam visit with Addy, she pointed to body parts when I called them out. She’s learning more all the time. Levi said a Bible verse for me. What a delight! I watched and listened to Elli play the piano via the webcam too. (She’s in Idaho and I’m in NC.) Her brother Quinn spoke using new words. Before I know it they will be telling me about their report cards.

We had neighbors in for dinner last night and we learned more about each other.

I’ve learned that time doesn’t stand still and that can be a good thing, and maybe not…

I’ve learned new things as I go to writers’ conferences. Some of what I learn, I didn’t even know I needed to know! Apart from writing, though, I have learned a lot about myself as I grow up. I’m learning what matters and what doesn’t, what I can influence and what I can’t, where I still need lots of work, what is mine to “own” and what isn’t. Learning mentally, personally and spiritually is a life long pursuit.

One of the biggest lessons that I’ve learned is that God’s timing is perfect and He can be trusted.

So…what is one thing that you’ve learned in the past month? Share something about your role as a Boomer grandmother, woman, wife, mother, friend….or any other role you hold.

Looking forward learning along with you,
Marilyn

Influence

2009-10-26T05:36:00.000-07:00
I’m reading a great book, The Culture-Wise Family …Upholding Christian Values in a Mass Media World, by Ted Baehr and Pat Boone. I normally wouldn’t pick up a book by Pat Boone, but I met Ted Baehr at a conference in August and found one of his talks mind-boggling. More information on the topic was in his book, so I bought it. He also personally autographed it to me. :) Pat Boone, you say? Well, he is a nice guy but somehow I can’t put Pat Boone in the same sentence without Tutti Frutti, so it’s a distraction. I mean, really...Tutti Fruitti? Enough said…

Ted’s book is about the mass media’s influence on our kids-in my case and yours-grandchildren. Our culture has moved from Roy Rogers and Dale Evans singing Happy Trails, Ozzie and Harriet and Leave it to Beaver solving the latest crisis in thirty minutes and celebrities completing a sentence without an innuendo or profanity to relativism and a desensitization of values. We no longer blush at provocative dress or wince at profanity spoken by TV characters. Yes, our generation was known for the phrase, “You’ve come a long way baby,” but who imagined how far we would still go?

The mass media definitely influences our family but what about a Boomer grandmother’s influence?
What do you do when you come across important information that threatens the family? Do you share it; “preach”; keep silent; offer your discernment; inform gently; give an opinion; nag, as you watch your adult children make choices that you wouldn’t make?

How do you handle differences as you see their parenting styles or values different from yours?

Our motive, (we hope) is influence, not interference, but how?

What do you see as your role as one who can influence your grandchildren, not just regarding the media, but in other areas?

How do you influence and where do you influence? What opportunities do you have to influence? Let’s talk.

Marilyn

Tell Us Books Women Love!

2009-10-18T22:09:00.000-07:00
With winter just around the corner, I like to always have a good book on my nightstand. Since I write mostly nonfiction, I enjoy reading it, too. But to "get away from it all," I like to read good, entertaining fiction. My mom just gave me a book, "Annie Freeman's Fabulous Funeral." I haven't begun to read it yet and I'm not ready to recommend it, but I'll let you know in a couple of weeks. But it does sound very different, funny, enlightening ..and perhaps heart-tugging! Seems to be about women who meet upon the death of a common friend, their adventures, miracles and blessings found amid the grief, and how these women help each other move forward. Has anyone read it?
Let us know if you've read something that you think Boomers particularly relate to and will enjoy. (besides my Authentic Friendship book!!) Marilyn and I, and other bloggers, will enjoy hearing about which book you want every woman you know to read. I'll start piling them on my nightstand...and be set for the winter. Thanks!
Judy

ONE THING TO CELBRATE

2009-10-12T03:36:00.000-07:00
Great comments to Judy’s questions on friendship! Thanks to all for sharing and giving us an opportunity to think about our friends--their blessings and the learning experiences that accompany friendships. The winner of our drawing is…Jane! Jane, please contact Judy at jldwrites@comcast.net with your mailing address and she will send you an autographed copy of her book, which by the way is a great read.

I received an email last week from a close friend from my college days. She addressed me by my high school and college nickname. She is the only one who does, and frankly, each time she does, I blink. It is so strange to see that name in print, but it represents a connection that I don’t have with anyone else, a very special part of our friendship and something to celebrate. I felt a tinge of nostalgia (it was an email in response to her birthday) as I realized that this is the only friend who knows this one thing about me and that we have “celebrated” (long-distance for the most part) 45 birthdays with each other.

It got me thinking…what is one thing that you love to “celebrate”? Is it a milestone, a change, a character quality that has developed over the years, an unforgettable experience, ___? Maybe it is something you are striving toward and hasn’t happened yet, but you celebrate each step you take.

Do tell! It can be a personal celebration (about you) or of a friend, or family member who has impacted you. What prompts you to applaud and shout, “Yes!”?
It will be fun to see the kaleidoscope that characterizes boomer women and boomer grandmas. Judy and I are hanging balloons as we wait for you to click “comments.” Then we’ll throw confetti!

Joy!
Marilyn

Friendship Challenges & Solutions - Prize Drawing

2009-10-04T22:10:00.000-07:00
Hi! I know something about you without even knowing you. I know that friends are as good for you as a healthy diet, sleep and exercise. It's true! You may agree, especially in this season of life that good friends are more important than ever. But it's also true that friendship, like all relationships come with challenges and with blessings.

Please comment about what challenges you face with a friend, or what is blessing you today with a friend. From those who comment, we will draw a PRIZE WINNER next Monday, October 12th, and the lucky winner will receive an autographed copy of my book, The Art of Authentic Friendship. (I know you'll love "the solutions" to friendship challenges addressed in the book)

Comment on any of the following friendship challenges: (actual chapter titles)

TIME: "The number one challenge we all face is finding time for each other."
OBSTACLES: "We are different. I fit somewhere between an agnostic and an atheist."
ANGUISH: "I feel like I've been fired as your soul mate."
HEALTHY CHOICES: "Needy women wear me out."
YOU: "I never feel good enough."
RELATIONSHIPS: "I want the freedom to be me without editing."

Thank you! We will announce the winner on this blog, next Monday, October 12.
In friendship,
Judy
www.judydippel.com

Changes and Another Day in Paradise

2009-09-28T03:24:00.000-07:00
My husband and I just returned from a Caribbean cruise to celebrate our 40th anniversary. We intentionally chose our itinerary to visit St. Thomas, USVI because that was where we began our married life. Yes, we taught in the government schools there right after we were married. The expression, “another day in paradise” was reality for us for two years. To say that we had an adventure is an understatement and to say the island changed in 40 years is another. Our first view as we sailed into port was spectacular, but once we began our tour with our taxi driver, we realized that it is hard to “go home.”

I was disappointed to find that the school where I taught was destroyed in a hurricane in 1996 and a new school now stands in its place. The narrow roads that were barely two lanes wide and accommodated Volkswagen bugs now have street lights. People were driving full sized cars. Our taxi driver took us down a four lane highway that had guardrails! But the most difficult for us to observe was that much of the charm of the small island was now replaced with fast food restaurants, more buildings, and a lot of activity. Even a former medium sized hotel with a marina has become an expanded shopping complex. I could continue in my description, but I realize that unless you experienced this from my “view” you wouldn’t understand my emotional perspective, so I’ll stop. But as I look at some of the parallels to my observations and living the past forty years, perhaps you can think with me and have some personal responses to these thoughts:

Sometimes things in our lives are “torn down” too. We have disappointments and maybe failures or personal goals that aren’t met, yet with grace, perseverance and hard work, we rebuild. Do you have an experience to share that would encourage us?

In our 60+ years, we boomers have seen life change from the simple to the complex. Care to reminisce? What complexity are you grateful for (technology?) or do you think things were better in simpler times (front porch conversations?)? Has bigger really been better?

Wider roads have offered us greater opportunities and challenges, yet at the same time, we have had to use guardrails as we explore. What guardrail did you use? Scripture, advice from friends, information and research, wisdom? How did your guardrail help you navigate your road?

Have you had a “going home” experience? What lessons did you learn?

Expectations and reality: How have you learned to handle them? Is this one of the things you are getting better at, as Judy said last week, or are you still in the learning process?

One last thought: the beauty of the palm trees, sunshine, white sand beaches and turquoise water is unparalleled. Moving our focus from the man-made to the God-made reminded us of what to treasure. Perhaps that was our best lesson learned on the trip.

There’s a lot to think about this week. Thanks in advance for sharing! We look forward to your points of view.

Boomer Grandma's - What is best? What must you confess?

2009-09-21T08:57:00.000-07:00
Let’s imagine all of us standing together in front of a mirror—it’s more than humorous! I can nearly hear your voices, and the jam-packed noise made by our collective complaints. Sighs would be heard across the country as together we admit that there is an uncontrollable, cascading effect age and gravity has had on our body shapes. Not to mention our waning memory, silvery strands of hair that jut out uncontrollably every which way, and the annoying chin hair!

Our dry skin drinks up the lotion faster than we can get it from the bottle, and the temperature swings we experience go from hot to cold more often than the thermostat. When we climb out of bed in the morning, more slowly than last year, our stiff and aching muscles are another reminder that we have to work harder to feel good physically, let alone achieve the personal outer “look” we want. Even with our ongoing list of bodily complaints, many agree that at this age we’re becoming the best we’ve ever been.

How? For me, I am eating better than I ever have in my life—doing semi-good on exercise and spending more one-on-one time with God. And I’m appreciating the small “joys” of life a lot more! …though I must confess I am still working on when to speak up and when to shut up!

How about you? How do you feel you are the best you’ve ever been?
What do you confess you are still working on?

2009-09-14T03:15:00.000-07:00
More Labor Day Thoughts

I appreciated Judy sharing her “labor” thoughts last week. We all have our “labor” stories and I can remember as if it were yesterday, the events surrounding the beginning of labor and the birth of my grandchildren. I was present for one of the deliveries—that was my first grandchild! I met two of them minutes after they were born, and was introduced to another when he was a week old. (I am a long distance grandma.)

As moms, the birth of our own babies is monumental. Depending on our state at the time, recollection of our labor may be clear or vague.  Mine was drug-free so I have vivid recollections. But…from the minute we held our newborn in our arms, we began to write many definitions of “labor.”

Pretty much from sun-up to sun-down we were busy with infant care and then moved to play groups, school activities, and nursing sick children. We watched them grow, make choices (good and maybe not-so-good), achieve milestones, and move on to adulthood, in what now seems like a blink of an eye.

We “labored” with them at every step. When our kids started the school year, we fell into their schedules: sports events, homework, music lessons or whatever their particular interest. Graduation was our day too, as we beamed with pride at how they had grown up. For some, graduation day broke mothers’ hearts when a child’s poor choices interrupted that common achievement.

Some of our “labor days” may have been lonely and challenging. We were stressed at times, maybe overwhelmed and discouraged. Some of us also worked outside the home. I was privileged to have both experiences, though I often felt that I had double-labor that never ceased between my children and career. I found moments of peace and prayer, and I was fortunate to have a supportive spouse and (some) friends who understood. I labored over the criticism of those who thought women should be exclusively stay-at-home moms.

So, boomer grandmas, with that season behind us, how are you laboring now? Are you caring for grandchildren and waiting at the bus stop again? Are you experiencing some freedom to do the things you are passionate about, that perhaps had been postponed? Are you trying something new—like a Bible study, school, or an exercise class? Are you pursuing hobbies or travel? Are you working outside the home or volunteering? Are you finding more quiet time?

I’m curious! How are boomer grandmas spending their days? We’d love to hear from you…and also from your daughters…what’s their take on how you’re spending your days?

Have a great day!
Marilyn

Grandmothers “Labor” Day!

2009-09-07T07:11:00.000-07:00
Hmmm… “Labor Day” first began as a national holiday in America, September 5, 1882. It is a day Marilyn and I celebrate all workers—including mothers and grandmothers.

For the sake of discussion, only women really grasp the full extent, the effort and toil, the labor involved when you become a mother. It has huge rewards, (some heartache), but no paycheck, and you certainly don’t get to clock out. Few of us consider when we become mothers that it is a career in itself and a never-ending life journey!

As grandma’s, we emotionally re-live pregnancy labor. Waiting and watching our daughter, or our son’s wife, in labor is “déjà vu.” Of course labor is an understatement for the mother experiencing it. It is effort, toil, and literally blood, sweat and tears! Yet, it is enriching, miraculous and one of the greatest privileges and proudest moments—both as a mother and as a grandmother!

I’ll share about my labor “as the mother of the mother,” when my first grandchild was born:

Stages of labor: Lindsay, my daughter assumed, as did I, it would progress as we dreamed—a textbook pregnancy and labor. I was not prepared for her call…nine weeks early. “Mom, my water has broken—I’m going into labor.” I felt like a cold pail of water had been thrown on me—her words brought shock, denial and sadly, fear!
Labor signs: Water and contractions—there was no denying it. She was transported by ambulance one hour away, to OHSU in Portland, with a neonatal unit that could care for her premature baby, estimated at 4 ½ pounds and 31 weeks!
Labor pains: Suddenly “labor pain” meant the hurt and fear of the unknown. I ached for my daughter who had to experience the uncertainty within the unfamiliar—not the advantage of a calm, predictable first labor, with music, laughter and the expected. Labor—couldn’t they stop it? Would “our baby” be healthy; would my daughter? Was she afraid?
Labor ready: I wasn’t yet sure how she was coping, but I wasn’t ready for this labor. I felt numb on the two hour drive to the hospital. What did I discover? God is good and present all the time. As the sun began to rise, and a pink cloud seemed to hover over our car, I turned to my husband and said, “It’s a girl, and she’s going to be fine.” God faithfully began to ease the labor of my heart and soul…long story with many details of God’s promises, along with some strain and pain. But Olivia Anne was a robust 5 pounds, and today, at eight years old, is exactly what we dreamed and God promised—a very normal, healthy little girl!
As a grandmother what stages, signs, or pains did you experience? Were you labor ready?

2009-08-31T05:05:00.000-07:00
BACK TO SCHOOL

I have spent three-fourths of my life associated with school—either I was going, teaching, supporting my husband while he was gone summers for grad school, or walking through the school years with my daughters. My life was regulated more by a school calendar than the January-December calendar. Now, after a break, I am beginning a new chapter -- my granddaughter Elli has begun kindergarten. The videotape in my mind rewound of school days with my girls as I listened to my daughter Heather talk about a teacher assignment, school shopping and open house. Elli talked to us on the phone and webcam and told us about her first day of school. She mentioned that they “didn’t learn anything” and that they only have “jobs” to do. She was the snack leader. She also said that recess was her favorite part of the day. I laughed to myself as she described the playground equipment. Educators just love those kinds of assessments and observations, as do parents who pay tuition and school taxes. :)

So it is back to school. Some of you boomer grandmas have grandchildren who have started school too. When my grandchildren were born, I chose a life verse that I would pray for them. Now that Elli has begun school, I decided to choose a school verse for this year. I figure that her first year is foundational—establishing her approach to learning in a structured environment, a new schedule, living out respect for her teacher and classmates, her attitude…so many aspects critical to starting off on the right foot. Beyond that, it occurred to me that she is also spending fewer hours under the influence of her parents and accumulating more hours under the influence of others. The verse I chose is, “Teach me your ways O Lord, guide me in your truth; give me an undivided heart that I may fear your name.” (Psalm 86:11) My “biggest” prayer is that Elli’s heart is connected to God’s and that she walks in His truth during her entire time at school—in her work ethic (for her “job” LOL), relationships and in her attitudes. Actually, that is a great prayer for her life.

What are your thoughts? Do you want to choose a verse for your grandchildren? Tell us what it is and why.

Marilyn www.marilynnutter.com

2009-08-24T03:17:00.000-07:00
WHERE DID IT GO?
Judy and I were talking last week and throwing lots of ideas around for our blog. I was in the middle of a sentence and stopped. She waited quite patiently for me to finish my sentence, when I said, “I totally lost my thought and what I was saying. Where did it go?” She backtracked with me, “You were saying____,” in an effort to help me; not to mention that we were thinking of some great topics for our blog and she hoped that I’d remember. We burst out laughing because this happens to us all the time. Well, the thought vanished and honestly, I really don’t know if it ever surfaced because I can’t remember!

Now, I worked in long term health care as a speech-language pathologist with patients who had memory impairment, so I am definitely not making light of the painful memory loss among the geriatric population. I am not talking about holding a set of keys in my hand and not knowing what to do with them. That is serious stuff. I am talking about not remembering where I last put my keys, or my glasses, or most recent notes from my conversations with Judy. (By the way, we have determined that it does take two brains to write a blog)

What about you? Do you ask, “Where did it go?” Ah…one of the new chapters of being a boomer woman and grandma. Personally, as we age, I think we have much more to remember and more to keep track of. Does that count as an excuse? After all, aren’t we the women who try to keep everything and everyone together? We are sooo good at multi-tasking and have lists for lists.

So, boomer grandmas, what’s your “Where did it go?” question? Is it:
Where did time go?
Where did the day go?
Where did my life go?
Where did my career go?
Where did the weekend go?
Where did my baby grandchildren go and now they’re in school?
Where did _______ go?

Let’s hear your question. And, would you share your thoughts on your answer, too?

Marilyn ~ www.marilynnutter.com

"AGE IS JUST A NUMBER" FOR BOOMER GRANDMAS

2009-08-16T21:12:00.000-07:00
I’m curious to hear what you feel about the statement, “age is just a number!” Boomer women I know want to believe this, and want to live life with this attitude. They sincerely want to get in the habit of living right now, with an appreciation for every day. Most likely we're committed to this because the reality has hit us that we won’t live forever—like we all thought we would in 1969!

When I became a grandma, I couldn’t deny that I had gotten older. With it came the wonderful reward of holding the child of my child. What's better? But realities subtly creep in to remind me I may have to make adjustments due to my age, and my first thought is that I really don’t want to face it when it comes to outdoor activities I enjoy! On a recent seven-day rafting trip I went down the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon. After several days, my knees and lower legs swelled up and were tender, (my legs didn’t even swell up when I was pregnant!) … and the challenging side hikes I had really looked forward to became much harder. This was hard evidence of the physical reality of getting older. Ugh!

And playing Bunko last week, some of the girls were talking about celebrating their 15th wedding anniversaries, and I said, “Next year I’ll be celebrating my 40th!" I’m proud of that, but at the same time emotionally the number struck me, “Just when did that happen? ...and when did my oldest granddaughter turn eight?” The years say I’m older, but I don’t feel that way. So let’s chat. What are your thoughts about “age is just a number?” Bottom line, it’s probably all about accepting things we have to, and realizing we can choose to have a positive attitude as we face “the stuff” of getting older. The dilemma—sometimes it’s easier said than done!”
Judy http://www.judydippel.com/

Bios: Judy and Marilyn

2009-08-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

Judy Dippel is the author of Refreshing Hope in God: A Mother’s Journey of Joy and Pain, The Art of Authentic Friendship: Real Women, Real Challenges, Real Solutions.

She is a contributing author in But Lord, I was Happy Shallow, Laundry Tales to Lighten Your Load, and The One Year Life Verse Devotional. Her nine-week small group study on the topic of postpartum depression will be released by Care Point Ministries in 2009.

Judy is a registered speaker with CLASS Services, Inc., http://www.classervices.com/ and http://www.ministrywomen.net/ and http://womensministry.com/. A frequent retreat, workshop, and conference presenter, Judy’s experience includes radio, television, and newspaper interviews. Contact Judy via her website at http://www.judydippel.com/.

Marilyn Nutter is the author of three devotional books: Dressed up Moms’ Devotions to Go (Extreme Diva Media Inc., 2006, Tea Lovers’ Devotions to Go (EDM, Inc.2007) and Diva Delights Devotions to Go (EDM, Inc., 2009). In addition, Marilyn has been a contributor to Chicken Soup for the Mother of Preschooler’s Soul, Life on Purpose for Mothers (Harrison House); Simple Joy, Girlfriend 2Girlfriend, Laundry Tales to Lighten Your Load (Evergreen Press), and The Ultimate Mom (HCI, 2009).

Marilyn served as a Mentor-Mom for MOPS and co-taught and coordinated a large group women’s Bible study at her local church for several years. Marilyn delights in speaking to women’s church and community groups about finding extraordinary treasures in ordinary and challenging days. She is a listed speaker on http://www.ministrywomen.net/ Contact Marilyn via her website at http://www.marilynnutter.com/.